After yesterdays 4-1 thrashing of Pompey at Anfield (a game in which Torres created the first two goals and scored the last two himself) I thought it was time for a compilation of the new number 9 in action for the mighty Reds. I apologise in advance for the music.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sweet merciful robot jeezuz. The PES 5 version of Ronaldinho's Brazilian Ping Pong (which is by no means pornographic- but i b
There is no point in trying to cover up my soccer-video-game-nerdism. It is so rampant that the only choice I have is to revel in it. With that in mind, watch this. Holy flurking shnit. This, my friends, is the end-product of what I can only assume is an entire life wasted playing video games. I wonder what the guy who pulled this off looks like. Poor soul. How long has it been since he's seen the sun? And yet I'm strangely impressed...
Here it is: (from www.imaginepeace.com)
December 8, 2007
I miss you, John. 27 years later, I still wish I could turn back the clock to the Summer of 1980. I remember everything - sharing our morning coffee, walking in the park together on a beautiful day, and seeing your hand stretched to mine - holding it, reassuring me that I shouldn't worry about anything because our life was good.
I had no idea that life was about to teach me the toughest lesson of all. I learned the intense pain of losing a loved one suddenly, without warning, and without having the time for a final hug and the chance to say, "I love you," for the last time. The pain and shock of that sudden loss is with me every moment of every day. When I touched John's side of our bed on the night of December 8th, 1980, I realized that it was still warm. That moment has haunted me for the past 27 years - and will stay with me forever.
Even harder for me is watching what was taken away from our beautiful boy, Sean. He lives in silent anger over not having his Dad, whom he loved so much, around to share his life with. I know we are not alone. Our pain is one shared by many other families who are suffering as the victims of senseless violence. This pain has to stop.
Let's not waste the lives of those we have lost. Let's, together, make the world a place of love and joy and not a place of fear and anger. This day of John's passing has become more and more important for so many people around the world as the day to remember his message of Peace and Love and to do what each of us can to work on healing this planet we cherish. Let's: Think Peace, Act Peace, and Spread Peace. John worked for it all his life. He said, "there's no problem, only solutions." Remember, we are all together. We can do it, we must. I love you!
Yoko Ono Lennon
Friday, December 7, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
SO...Steve McLaren is stuffed. I got up for work and chucked on Englands qualifier with Croatia on Sopcast as I got ready, and imagin my (mild) surprise when I saw that Ingerland were already 2-0 down after 15 minutes. By the time I got to work however, they had tied the game with about 25 minutes to go, from what sounds like a pretty sweet Crouch goal (on ya Crouchy!!!). I could only laugh however when I checked the final score to find out they had been knocked out with a 75th minute 30-yard screamer. How England has never one a major tournament since '66 is puzzling enough, but not even qualifying for Euro is downright hilarious. A team that boasts Gerrard, Lampard, Hargreaves, J. Cole., A. Cole, Crouch, SWP, Owen, Rooney, Terry, Ferdinand, etc., and can't beat Russia, Croatia, Israel or (er...) Andorra is...well...I dunno what. I know Owen, Ferdinand, Rooney, and Terry were out for this Croatia game, but still. I'm guessing McLaren will be giving his "i've-just-been-sacked" press conference any second now. For some reason I like cheering for the English boys, some I'm a bit sad they won't be participating in a tournament that will boast the might of Austria (the lowest ranked host team EVER for a major tournament). It's all too weird for words.
Okay...on to more fun things. Being unable to afford an XBOX 360, and seeing how the kind folks at all things XBOX have decided not to realease this years FIFA game on plain old XBOX, i needed to fill this years new soccer game fix some how. So I bought Pro Evolution Soccer 5 for ten bucks (the last incarnation to come out on XBOX). And what can I say, accept that I think I've wasted years on the FIFA games when I could have been playing Pro Evo. (Alex will chuckle at this no doubt as he's been a fan since it's days as ISS on Nintendo 64). Yes, I was a poor sap that fell for FIFA's better licensing and graphics. What a fool I have been. PES5 is the best soccer game i've played, ever. It's f$%kin' hard for one thing. And after years of constant video-soccering, lord knows I needed a challenge. The ball physics really are as good as the all the fanboys say (while messing their pants). It's been a long time since I scored a goal in a soccer video game to win a game 1-0 and actually danced around my living room for the sheer joy of it. Alex, if you don't have it, you should get it. You can get it for practically nothing now, and it is quite simply pure bliss for a soccer nerd.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
But, without further ado, here are all the goals of the biggest rout in the history of the modern Champions League (honestly, check it out, it's true). Babels first goal is simply superb. Back-heel flick in to the far post. Jaw-dropping. Go on son!
Friday, November 2, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
My pick is joox.net - great quality, speed, and selection. Screw normal tv.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Ah, how it feels good to be right.
Reading 2- Liverpool 4.
Torres starts, Torres gets hat-trick.
Sublime Torres Hits Three As Liverpool Sail Through
As good a hat-trick as you’ll ever see from Fernando Torres helped Liverpool to a 4-2 win over Reading in the Carling Cup third round
...His hat-trick was complete five minutes from time. Gerrard, coming on as a late substitute fed another through ball for the pacy Torres to chase, he beat the offside trap and was one-on-one with the keeper. Perhaps his most difficult finish of the night was made to look easy. So many other strikers would have bottled it and powered wide or over, Torres took his time to round the keeper and slot home from two yards to complete a memorable night.
The tie and tomorrow’s headlines belong to the virtuoso Torres, who was simply outstanding. There were other positives for The Reds, Leto looked smart, as did Aurelio, coming back from long-term injury.
So Liverpool get through to the fourth round draw, having conceded their first goals from open play this season. That will not bother Benitez though, he’ll be busy working out the starting eleven for the weekend, and there’ll be hell to pay if Torres’ isn’t the first name down.
-------------------------------------------They might as well get it over with and make me manager already.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Let me put it plainly: Just what in the fyack was Fernando Torres doing on the bench?
I don't give a shit that he played in midweek against Porto. He has been BY FAR Liverpool's most threatening player this season. The decision to leave him on the bench was retarded. Simple as that. For god's sake, the guy cost over 20million pounds. I have a suggestion. If he is breathing, he starts. I'm getting sick of this Liverpool Lucky Dip All-Stars crap. Build a goddamned team Rafa. If they are alive, the first names on the team sheet should be Reina, Carra, Gerrard, and Torres. Torres is 23 years old. Not 30. Think he got rested playing for Athletico? He's exactly the kind of talent we have been lacking to break down the dogged all-out defence we encountered on saturday. I could handle it if he was injured, but Benitez has publicly said it was a tactical decision. Wow. He's a genius. The mind boggles.
Sadly, even as a subsitute he created more than anyone else did the whole game (his backheel which sent Crouch and Gerrard through should have been a goal if Crouch hadn't stumbled like a drunken baby giraffe into Gerrards way just as he was about to smash it home). Oh and then there was that other little chance (have a look at the video in the post below). Unbelievable.
Now i'm not saying that Rafa should be sacked.
But Mourinho is out there.
I'm just saying.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Could this be the Year of the Uncle? It just might be.
Now on to (even) more trivial news, I rented Spiderman 3 the other night (having resisted seeing it in the theater due ot almost unanimous calls that it sucks driveway-leak-spot oil residue). Still- it's got Venom in it. Like, dude. Venom.
Yeah...Venom...fuck me. Spiderman 3 is such a rancid turd it's hard to even discuss it. It features no plot, a miscellanious sand-monster (THAT ACTUALLY KILLED SPIDERMANS UNCLE, GASP!, even though we fucking well saw who killed his uncle in the first film), and possibly the worst dance number of all time. Seriously. Dance number.
Let me sum it up for you:
Basically imagine the Anchorman jazz flute interlude (which is awesome), but if it featured Emo Spiderman (not awesome). Yeah...when the black Venom-making space-ooze infiltrates Peter Parker, what does it do? Turns him emo. You can almost see the actors vomiting a little bit in their mouths.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Friday, September 7, 2007
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
1- Get a good P2P tv program such as SopCast (downloadable from here). There are other programs as well, such as tvAnts, and as you get more into it you may very well want to download more than one (I currently use a few different ones) but SopCast is a good place to start. Basically, different programs tend to stream different channels so depending on which games you watch you might discover that you need more than one program.
2- Use a good link directory. There are a few websites around that provide tv guides with links so you can find the games you want. I recommend www.myp2p.eu. They always have a comprehensive list of what's on and which channel and program you need to watch it. In my experience most big games are available on SopCast or tvAnts. All you need to do is click on the football guide located on the left of the page (which is seperated into Weekdays, Saturday and Sunday). They usually show a list of what games are on about 3-4 days in advance, but the links which open the channels don't come live until the day itself. This is because the links often change at very short notice.
3- Have a big-ass download limit. Each game you watch streams at around 350kb a second for over 90 minutes. Basically, one game equals roughly 1 gig of download use. So if you are planning to watch a lot of games, make sure you've got the download to cope with it.
Hope that makes it easy for ya.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
MELBOURNE, Aug 28 (Reuters) - Argentina coach Alfio Basile named Real Madrid's Gabriel Heinze and Barcelona's Lionel Messi in a 21-man squad for the international friendly against Australia in Melbourne next month.
Basile named a strong party with Real's new signing Heinze included alongside club team mate Javier Saviola, Liverpool's Javier Mascherano, Manchester United's Carlos Tevez and Hernan Crespo of Inter Milan.
Influential midfielder Juan Roman Riquelme has been left out for the clash at the Melbourne Cricket Ground on Sept 11. The match was originally scheduled for June but Argentina asked for a postponement fearing they could not muster a strong enough squad.
The match will be Australia's first since losing on penalties to Japan in the quarter-finals of the Asian Cup.
Roberto Abbondanzieri (Getafe), Oscar Ustari (Getafe), Sergio Romero (AZ Alkmaar); Gabriel Heinze (Real Madrid), Daniel Diaz (Getafe), Gabriel Milito (Barcelona), Fabricio Coloccini (Deportivo La Coruna), Nicolas Burdisso (Inter Milan), Javier Zanetti (Inter Milan); Fernando Gago (Real Madrid), Martin Demichelis (Bayern Munich), Jonas Gutierrez (Mallorca), Javier Mascherano (Liverpool), Federico Insua (America, Mexico), Cristian Ledesma (Olympiakos), Maxi Rodriguez (Atletico Madrid), Sergio Aguero (Atletico Madrid); Javier Saviola (Real Madrid), Hernan Crespo (Inter Milan), Carlos Tevez (Manchester United), Lionel Messi (Barcelona).
Monday, August 27, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Well, now that I've had a day to calm down the venom I felt last night at Liverpool's robbery at the hands of Rob Styles has been replaced by serenity brought about by this amazing goal from Fernando Torres. If anyone thought he was going to be a flop in the Prem, just watch this. Sheer gold. He's exactly the kind of striker Liverpool has been lacking. Enjoy. I'm sure there will be much more of this to come.
Friday, August 17, 2007
This is a link to an article in the Guardian about the designer of China's national stadium (known as the Bird's Nest), speaking out about the terrible state of human rights in China, and why he is going to boycott the Beijing Olympics (even though his stadium will be home to the opening ceremonies). A very interesting and inspiring read.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
I was gonna try and start this post with something un-football, but...screw that. The Prem has kicked off, i've gone into a football frenzy, and I'm Sopcasting my download limits to within an inch of their lives. TO the un-initiated, SopCast (and similar programs) let you watch tv from all over the world streaming live to your computer. In what can only be described as the biggest threat to my marriage since FIFA07 on xbox, I have been able to watch every single football match that my little heart desires. In a word it's friggin' brilliant. I recommend hitting up www.myp2p.eu for game listings and links.
In other football news, the mighty Rooney's Uncle FC fell at the semi-final stage of the cut-throat Brunswick Men's Division 1 Indoor Soccer League playoffs to our old nemisis, The Suicide Strikers. It was a close run thing, but we lost 8-6. It's too bad, too. We played really well. They just played better. For anyone who cares, I set up two and scored one. Probably my best offensive performance of the season. Too bad it didnt' really matter. Ah fuck it. The new season starts as soon as the playoffs are over. Which is next week. So, we get a whole week off before the mighty Uncle returns in hunt of glory once again.
Is anyone still reading this?
Yes. I know. I am a pathetic football nerd. If I have anything meaningful to say anytime soon, rest assured I will put it here. But I wouldn't hold your breath. Unless you like Andriy Voronin!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I watched the Liverpool season opener on the weekend, and I had heard about Ryan Babel and seen a bit, but when he came on he was an instant threat and changed the tempo of the game. And that was his first game ever in the Prem. If this guy gets comfortable, I feel bad for the defences trying to mark him. Watch this package. Holy hell.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Well, I got into work this morning to find a whole hell of a lot of drug shipments to be put away from yesterday (I don't work there on wednesdays). No big deal. That's pretty common. Only thing is, one of the shipment was a temperature sensitve shipment and had been left unrefrigerated since yesterday. Needless to say, the fucking thing was out of temp. range, creating an hour of extra paperwork and phone calls for me to take care of. Yipee hurray. Now, I don't want to whinge too much because the girls got slammed yesterday in my absence and they don't usually look after that stuff, plus the boxes were NOT clearly labeled "Store between 2-8 degrees C". So, I can't really blame them. What's theis posting about then, you ask? Well, in their infinite wisdom, management has decided that it will be fine to shut off the pharmacy cool room for an hour today, without any contingencies for moving the stock. Essentially what will happen is that they will assure me that the stock will remain between 2-8 degrees C, but (of course) it won't. Then I will spend the rest of my day phoning study coordinators to tell them that their extremely valuable stock may no longer be usable because my goddamn workplace refuses to do things properly. And for that, RMH Pharmacy gets another Astounding Feat of Human Intelligence. Thank you all very much.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
So, at the moment I've returned to my old stomping ground in the Sterile Room (or Aseptic Suite if you want to sound snooty) to fill in while our Drug Slaves (I mean trainee-pharmacists) are at some conference. See, I used to work in here full time before moving into pharmaceutical clinical trials (testy-testy druggy-druggy on humany-humans, mwahahahaha) where I now spend my days. I gotta tell ya, it's nice to be back in the old sterlie room. The time flies and somehow being locked in an airlock by myself all day is strangely conducive to a happy Hamblore. I don't know what that says about my psychological well-being, but it's probably best not to think about it too hard.
Grand. Ahhh, last night marked the triumphant resurgance of the Mighty Uncle. Yes, after three absolutely shiteful weeks, Rooney's Uncle FC is back on the winning trail. Oddly we won while our regular keeper was away. And he's really good. He's gonna be pissed he wasn't there. We actually went down 2-0 in the first like two minutes, because Chris (henceforth referred to simply and humbly as "The Goat"), the brave soul who volunteered to take first shift in the proverbial line of fire, promptly shat his pants and let in two goals of such glorious comedic value that I won't even attempt to describe them here. He was thus kindly and gently ushered from goal and we set about catching up. And boy did we catch up. And then, slide right past and off into the distance. We ended up winning 7-4 (which really should have been 7-2 if not for The Goats excellent goallkeeping humour) and even included a rare and cherished goal from the Canstralian Sloth himself, finishing off an excellent three one-touch-pass move which absolutely and mercilessly shredded the other teams meager defense. The Goat meanwhile attoned for his previous sins by banging home three. Nice work boys. Very nice.
Well shit, I gotta go and "do work" or I'll "get fired", so...adios amigos. Till next time, keep fit and have fun.
P.s. Apparently we are playing against our good friends and tastefully named Suicide Strikers in a couple weeks. Watch this space. Could get interesting. It's nice to have a nemisis. I just hope they don't read this blog, cause I said some kinda unfriendly things about them before and they seem like the kind of boys who like a little of the old ultra-violence. Hurray!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
According to this front page story at The Guardian.com, Liverpool have just signed Torres for around 27 million pounds, pending personal terms. I am a happy boy. A very happy boy.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Honestly, I should know better by now. I've acted in a few things for him before, and it always seems to end up with me being tortured in new and inventive ways. This time I had to have my entire face covered in liquid latex with big eye-wound things stuck over my eyes because my characters eyes had been gouged out and he wants them back (and is followed around by an evil demon of sorts- also played by me). So, yeah, I was actually blind for the whole day while we shot the eye-gouged guys scenes. And I honestly had to climb a barbed-wire electric fence while still in the fucking blinding makeup. Miraculously I wasn't hurt. Good times.
But seriously folks, the film should be pretty cool. I'm sure it'll get the good old You-Tube treatment when it's done, and I'll post it here. Now I'm going to rub moisturizer into my face because you should see what happens to your skin when you have to peel layer after layer of latex off, repeatedly. It's a cross between eczema and a sunburn. Hurray for films!
Friday, June 22, 2007
"Have sex. Baby grows on tree. C'Mon!"
To truly appreciate the genuine power of the comment, imagine that "C'Mon!" at the end to be uttered with Leytton Hewitt-ish earnest and verve.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
Thursday, June 7, 2007
So, we held our own but unfortunately let a 4-3 lead slip to lose 5-4. Not bad for a 2nd div team playing a 1st div team. Why is this filed under Astounding Feats of Human Intelligence? Well, because they thought it was funny to call their team the The Suicide Strikers.
I'm sorry. That shit ain't funny. Wonder how they'd feel if we called our team Mossad.
So congratulations Suicide Strikers. For your contribution to inter-ethnic relations, you are Astounding Feats of Human Intelligence number 4.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Monday, June 4, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Thus, here I am my friends.
Today's task is to research the effects of English in foreign-language advertising so I can write a 2500 word paper on it tomorrow. But since the subject is decidedly even less exciting than it sounds, I figured I'd post what I'm listening to while I'm supposed to be working rather than actually working. Have you guys heard Blonde Redhead? No? Well, shit, until today neither had I. Since my good mate (and midfield maestro to Rooney's Uncle FC), Tristan, recommended it the other day I decided to give'em a whirl and I must say I am thoroughly impressed. Their latest is called "23". It's apparently called 23 because:
The 23rd hexagram of the I Ching is commonly known as "Splitting Apart", the point in a cycle where upheaval and disintegration enters in. The number 23, heralded by many an occultist and rag-tag philosopher is often considered a magical number associated with change, the point in a series where new energy comes in to transform the pre-existing condition and change the trajectory (Thank you Pitchfork Media).
Whatever. Anyway, it's rad. In the utmost. It's produced by the dude that produced Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. I recommend a listen.
Also worth a mention is TV On The Radio. It has sustained me through a number of dreary assignments this term. Most good.
How can you not like something called "Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes"?
Friday, May 25, 2007
Just remember to tell your kids:
Okay...you know what I cannot tolerate? Superfluous pedantry. Otherwise known as retarded and pointless anal-retentiveness. Now the nature of my work (for those uninitiated of you, I work in pharmaceutical clinical trials), calls for quite a high tolerance of pedantry. Logs are checked, checked, triple checked, filled out in triplicate, blah blah blah. So, it takes a hell of a fucking lot to piss me off. But here we go. Today I rock up to work to find a note on my desk informing me that I am to go through every single individual patient log (that's a lot of logs people) and change all these little entires that some fucking dumb wench has marked with a vomitous little post-it note. Why do the entries have to be changed? Because, as far as I can tell, the vacuous harlet is sucking down vast quantities of ether and has lost the ability required for standard human cognition. She has politely asked me to change every instance that nothing has been returned, and which I have marked a zero (because to my feeble brain nothing=0), to be marked with a 2. Lets say this again. When they return no syringes, I'm supposed to write that they returned 2 syringes. Of course! I'm so stupid! Please pardon me, oh bwana of human intellect, you doyen of analytical thinking! 0 = 2!!!!! I am so ashamed of my pathetic attempt at logical reasoning!
Sweet merciful intergalactic robot jesus. I actaully have to spend the next hour to comply with this inane fuckery. Genius. Fucking genius.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Repeat after me:
I am sofa king. We. Todd. Ed.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
For the inaugural posting in this perhaps-frequently-occurring series we have a gem from none other than the most gentlemanly and sporting man ever to grace the velvety green carpet of Old Trafford, the cuddliest and wuddliest of all Irishmen, the ambassador of God to Cork and recently successful manager of the mighty Black Cats: take a bow Roy Keane.
Taken from his masterfully executed and cleverly titled memoirs, Keane: The Autobiography, the passage is simply breathtaking in its simplicity, an immaculately succinct and forthright expression of his sentiment, a quote so emblematic of the great man that this humble author suggests it would not be out of place gracing Master Keane’s tombstone on that grey Irish day that the magnificent former King of Manchester passes from this world to eternity!
Following a typically fair though, unfortunately (and surely accidentally), leg-breaking tackle on his most respected Manchester City opponent Alfie Haaland, Sir Roy Keane of the Court of Noble and Sporting Conduct had these fine words to comfort his fallen but worthy foe as he lay writhing upon on the turf:
“Take that, you cunt.”Good form, old man. Good form.
(Quoted directly from p. 231 in Keane, R., 2002, Keane: The Autobiography, Penguin Books, London.)
It's got formaldehyde in it.
Youngish pant-suited female office-dweller (2):
Youngish pant-suited female office-dweller (1):
It's this stuff they use for preserving things.
Youngish pant-suited female office-dweller (2):
Is it bad for you?
Youngish pant-suited female office-dweller (1):
I don't think so.
And so it begins...